It was around 6:30 p.m. last evening when messages started coming at me from all different forms of media. Texts. Facebook. Emails.
I had two friends in crisis, one child in need, and a beloved family member who was spending another evening facing the heartbreak from a terrible tragedy that happened earlier this week.
Swirling around with these things was debris from an argument with my husband earlier in the day. An argument I wasn’t fully over yet – even though he’d already apologized – I was having one of those days when I wasn’t quite ready to let go of my anger and forgive.
With all of this weighing on me, by 8:30 p.m., I was done.
I’d reached my limit.
So, I laid out a pillow and blanket for my husband, and before he even got home from work, I made my escape.
I needed my bed and a dark room so I could focus on this problem, and pray about that one. My head was spinning, and my heart was slowly going under.
We’ve all been there. We’ve all had those nights where it’s all just too much.
We all have our limits.
I didn’t know where to begin. I had prayers I needed to say; for grieving friends, friends facing major challenges, friends needing healing, and for the forgiveness I wanted to offer my husband that hadn’t yet reached my heart.
The turmoil inside was like a bowl of tangled spaghetti – I couldn’t unravel it all.
I was starting to feel hopeless.
A dangerous place to be.
So I gave up.
Instead of thrashing, and grasping, and trying to keep the thoughts in my head from making trails down my face, I reached for His hand.
And let Him pull me up.
Although I’d reached my limit, I turned it all over to The One who has none.
And He gave me rest.
And this morning, I woke up.
The problems may still exist, but I’m reassured.
It’s like somewhere in between the darkness and the dawn I’d had a big cup of His Mercy…
And I feel new this morning
So I got up and headed downstairs. I stopped by the coffee pot and grabbed two steaming mugs.Then I made my way into the den, where I found the one my soul loves curled under the blanket I’d left out for him.
And I hugged him, and I held him.
And I apologized. And I forgave.
And I meant it.
And I began again…